maandag 25 februari 2013

Oscars 2013: I did guess a few right

So the whole Academy Award circus for 2012 has finally come and gone. As always I have mixed feelings about the results. There were a few winners that definitely deserved to win, while a few others... not so much. And one choice was just simply atrocious. Here's the result of my guesses from January:

-Best Picture: wrong. Argo won over Zero Dark Thirty. Guess the latter was a little too controversial after all, despite being directed by the Academy's favourite female director. Oh well, Argo also makes for a deserving winner and people won't make fun of Ben Affleck for quite a while.
Second choice: also wrong. A French movie winning Best Picture, what was I thinking?! But then, why was it even nominated in the first place?


-Best Actor: wrong. Poor Joaquin, he did so well as the unstable, irrational messed up Master's disciple. But I should have known better than to bet against Daniel D-L, he's an veritable Oscar magnet.
Second choice: Daniel Day-Lewis. Correct! Next time the guy is up for an Oscar, make it easy for everybody and don't bother nominating other people, it's a waste of time.

-Best Actress: wrong. It was Jennifer Lawrence after all. Very good, Academy, not going for a new age record (youngest ever or oldest ever), but stay within previously established boundaries. Wouldn't have wanted to miss out on the accompanying sarcastic comment by Lawrence after she tripped on the stairs while going to the stage: 'you're all standing up because I fell down and it's embarrassing'. I guess those steps would have been much harder on an 85 year old actress, she wouldn't have arrived alive. You saved her life, Academy!
Second choice: also wrong.

-Best Supporting Actor: wrong. Guess The Master himself isn't really the master. Philip Seymour Hoffman apparently hasn't mastered acting as much as Christoph Waltz.
Second choice: also wrong.

-Best Supporting Actress: correct! Anne Hathaway, obviously. Her singing was apparently right up the Academy's alley.

-Best Director: wrong. Once again a non Indian movie about Indians having a hard time makes even the most hardened Academy veteran be moved to tears. So Ang Lee runs off with the Oscar. Not a bad choice though, but this category was definitely the hardest to predict so I'm not ashamed.
Second choice: also wrong.

-Best Original Screenplay: wrong. Tarantino once again proves he can easily get away with ripping off older movies. Good flick, I must admit, but Tarantino's method of taking a genre and pastiching the shit out of it in an orgy of violence and swearing (106 'niggers', for your information: I didn't bother counting all the 'fucks') is bound to backfire on him some day.
Second choice: also wrong.

-Best Adapted Screenplay: Correct! Argo, duh!

-Best Animated Feature: wrong. Now this one pisses me off, big time. The Academy ignored four superior movies over a stale princess flick like Brave?! What is this, a pity award for Pixar since they're on a creative downward spiral and everybody knows it!? The other nominees were all more original, more refined, more edgy, more daring and most of all, much more fun. Frankenweenie even made my eyes water my cheeks, dammit! There's nothing brave about going for an overly traditional, conservative, dull cartoon like this one. Epic fail, fully deserving off my 'Most cinematically pissed off moment of the year' rant.
Second choice: leave me alone, I'm angry!


-Best Foreign Picture: correct. Putting Amour back in its place, like it should be.

-Best Cinematography: correct!

-Best Editing: wrong.
Second choice: also wrong.

-Best Production Design: wrong. I guess Middle-Earth just isn't cool anymore at the Academy. It's, like, soooo 2003. And it got a total of seventeen Oscars already anyway...
Second choice: correct.

-Best Costume Design: correct! I told you so, any movie starring Keira Knightley that gets Oscar nominated for putting her in funky dresses wins. It's a natural law.

-Best Make-up: wrong. Thirteen Dwarves and apparently none of them look good enough compared to suffering French people singing about their misery (even though the Dwarves basically did the same thing the entire film).
Second choice: also wrong.

-Best Music: wrong. Oh well, John Williams already has a fair amount of Oscars.
Second choice: correct.

-Best song: correct! For Skyfall, Adele didn't crumble, but she stood tall, and made us face it all together. At Skyfaaaaaaaaall!

-Best Sound Mixing: wrong.
Second choice: correct.

-Best Sound Editing: a tie?! How the bloody hell does that work?! And I voted for neither...
Second choice: I got one right at least. But seriously, what is going on here?

-Best Visual Effects: wrong. My bad, I forgot Richard Parker wasn't a real tiger. It was already confusing you know, this cat also being the father of Peter Parker in The Amazing Spider-Man. Cut me some slack!
Second choice: also wrong. Hulk sad...


So I got 6 correct, 5 second choices correct and 9 blatantly wrong. Far worse results than last year, when these things were, like, easier. How could I have known the Academy decided to get all politically correct and compromise the shit out of things here by giving every movie a little piece of the pie? And what's all this weird stuff happening here? A French movie getting five nominations? A tie for Sound Editing? Brave winning Best Animated Feature? What kind of sick conspiracy is going on here? Argo fuck yourself!


At least Jennifer Lawrence gets it. At Skyfaaaaaaaall!

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